Breastfeeding

I don't know if it was just me being naive, but I thought that breastfeeding would be easier than it was. I didn't expect it to be easy, but I certainly didn't think I would need to get help! I was actually looking forward to the experience, but from the beginning Alexander and I did not agree about breastfeeding. We constantly fought each other. For both of us it was painful and exhausting. Every 2 hours we would go through the process of trying to latch and it would always end up in both of us in tears. We went to lactation consultant and we seemed to get things under control, but unfortunately it didn't last long. By the time my husband went back to work, we were back to fighting every time it was feeding time. Breastfeeding is "supposed" to be this wonderful bonding experience, but for us it was dreaded time. The closer it came to feeding time, the more stressed out I would become, and I could see it in Alexander too. Finally I decided to pump more often and feed him from a bottle. From that day on feeding time was the bonding time that I had expected it to be, just a little different than I wanted. In the end it was a combination of things that made it so difficult for us. I was not producing enough milk to satisfy him, and he was not getting it fast enough for his liking.